02.05.2022.

02.05.2022.

🚨 BREAKING NEWS 🚨 Ivan Sopta Almost Takes Perfect Photo!! Misses Shutter by 0.2 Seconds, World Gasps 🌍😱

Suburban Croatia — In what experts are calling “the greatest almost in modern history,” Ivan Sopta, 43, a mild-mannered man with a burning passion for photography, videography and design, has done it again — this time by missing yet another perfect moment by 0.2 seconds.

“It was right there,” Sopta muttered, visibly heartbroken, as he reviewed yet another slightly blurry photo of what might have been a majestic masterpiece, had it not included his own thumb and left hand.

📸 See the photo gallery after the article
 

This marks the 479th near-masterpiece in Sopta’s sprawling portfolio, which critics have described as “aggressively mediocre,” “emotionally confusing,” and “almost beautiful if you squint, tilt your head, and suppress all expectations.”

🕵️ The Legend of the Missed Moment

Sopta’s photographic misfortunes are now the stuff of legend. From nearly capturing lightning over the Petrcane (but accidentally filming in selfie mode) to his now-infamous series “Birds I Didn’t Catch in Time,” the man has built a body of work so consistently off-target, it’s been added to the syllabus at avant-garde art schools under the movement “Accidental Futurism.”

“He’s either a genius or profoundly unlucky,” said gallery curator Marina Ivančić. “Either way, I’ve never seen someone miss so many decisive moments with such poetic consistency.”

Sopta remains undeterred. “One day,” he says, “I will capture something. Maybe not what I aimed at. But something.”

📉 Cultural Impact

The failed photo has sparked a flurry of think-pieces, TikTok tributes, and a surprisingly emotional op-ed in The Economist titled “Beauty in the Blur: Why the Almosts of Ivan Sopta Matter.”

Meanwhile, Fujifilm has offered him a sponsorship deal — not for his skills, but because “no one else has done more to prove that timing is everything.”


📞 Book Sopta Now — If You Dare

For those brave enough to bring Ivan Sopta’s nearly-visionary eye to their personal or professional projects, bookings are now open. His services include “High-Speed Misses,” “Event Blurs,” and his premium package, “Weddings, But Slightly Off.”

Prices start at €1399 per out-of-focus frame, or €2999 for his signature “Wait, I Thought It Was in Portrait Mode” collection. Clients must sign a waiver acknowledging that no subject is guaranteed to be captured, centered, or visible.

To book, simply whisper “ISO 800” into a cracked lens at sunset and wait 3–5 business days for a pigeon to deliver the contract.*

(*Or email: i.sopta@salveo-pharma.com - but he rarely checks it., or you can try and call him: +385 99 463 2844 - but he rarely answers).

Important note: 
If your idea would get us canceled, arrested, or divorced, it’s a hard pass. Think cool, classy, creative - not creepy, criminal, illegal or immoral 😇